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The Irrational Fears Irishmen have with Urinals

While I have seen this outside Ireland, it never happened with such frequency that I questioned it until I came to Ireland: You will be in a bathroom (for whatever reason) and you will see that rather than use the urinal to urinate, they go straight for the stall. Now please understand, it is not like I am taking notes on what other men do in the bathroom, however, some behavior is simply, undeniably weird!

I have asked other people (both Irish and non-Irish) about this and we have come to the conclusion that it is for one of a varied reasons:

  • Need to shit but turns out to be just fart.
  • Need to adjust wardrobe
  • They need some "personal" time (even though it only lasts a few seconds)
  • Homophobia
  • Penis Shame

And because this behavior happens so often, I feel that the probability that it is the later three options is very high.

I am making this point out, not to embarrass this individuals (since I could really couldn't care less where they take care of business), but what gets me spun up (and hence this entry in my Personal Rants page) is that they urinate all over the damn seat!

And I am not talking about a few drops in a dingy bar, I am talking about a hosing down of the entire seat - at work! I have witnessed a few occasions where I have used the stall (for a shit, after I had to wipe the seat of course) and while I am washing my hands, a guy will jump straight into the stall (even though all the urinals are empty), do his thing, leave without washing his hands and I will notice on the way out that the seat is once again covered in urine!

Do Irish mothers not teach their son's how to aim, or even better how to raise the damn seat? Are Irish girlfriends so mean and vicious about lowering the seat that the men never want to raise it?

There has to be an answer!

Bob Brandt

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Page last modified on July 20, 2009, at 02:43 PM